Yesssssssssss.

The mood is subtly starting to shift, from blistering heat to beautiful, embracing, hopeful, wonderful cold. This, this is my favorite time of year. As fall creeps around the corner and winter approaches, my mood is elevated and joy fills my being.

And so starts another chapter in my silent and isolated life, but I’m not unhappy or wrapped in discontent. I can honestly look in the mirror and say aloud “I’m happy”; it’s finally here and it’s finally welcome.

So I say, let the cold in! Let it bundle me in blankets and warm cups of coffee, and let it freeze the air to a winter chill.

Here have some motherfucking JUSTICE:

And to follow it:

In the beginning.

“l had to come all the way from the highways and byways of Tallahassee, Florida to Motor City, Detroit to find my true love. lf you gave me a million years to ponder, l would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would go together. And to this day, the events that followed all seem like a distant dream. But the dream was real and was to change our lives forever. l kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he’d say: ‘That’s the way it goes. But don’t forget, it goes the other way too.’ That’s the way romance is. Usually that’s the way it goes. But every once in a while, it goes the other way too.”

I love this movie with all my heart.

I’m not there.

I never know what to say or when to say it anymore.

I can’t write like I could,

or sing like I could,

or create like I could…

I feel stripped of it all, of that joyous youthful glee that once filled my soul.

Now, all I am is hallowed out potential.

I miss the people who gave me that spark and that joy.

I miss Lemon.

I miss Sarah.

I miss Wes.

Without friends to stand by me as I venture forth into the world,

what am I? A man? A lonely man? I am certainly less than I ever was.

No waves of euphoric, impassioned writing.

Just a disconnected, thoughtful dose of reality.

I cannot step outside without first being blinded.

YET, I catch glimpses of that far away place across the sea,

of that dream I’ve instilled,

and of that hope I’ve impressed,

I feel a spark of hope…that I may survive long enough to go there.

To Japan, my friends!

May we meet again.